So when I am trying to get out the door, with my shirt on facing the right direction and Bella's boots on her feet and not her head, I often clap to get my self out of my bad mood. I clap 3 times and say "Spit, spot and off (clap) we(clap) go (clap)." And then Harry chimes in to finish my sentence "....just a boonful sugar, go down." OK my baby is finishing my quirky Mary Poppins lines... ummmm. In addition, the first thing he says when he wakes up from his nap and in the morning is "Nike shoes on. Nike shoes on." He is so his father's son.
Also....
When getting pulled over, my theory is to stick to the truth. So when I found myself with flashing lights in the rearview mirror and a baldie swaggering up to the car, the first thing I flat out told him was "Ya, that was me speeding."
"You're going 69 in a 55."
"I know."
"You okay?"
"I just gotta get my 4 year old to the nearest bathroom ASAP" (I thought he would appreciate the accronym, I would have used STAT but that was pushing it).
A knowing "Ahhh...." escaped his irritated grin.
By the way, this is the absolute truth. She had been screaming at me since mile marker 18 for a bathroom, we were now at marker ten and I knew deliverance was nigh. Using the "Over the rainbow" theory, a bathroom had to be in close proximity, just around the bend in the road somewhere.
"License please" , with his hand out
"Yes, sir. You see it's just right here....(easing my way out of the car to the back of the vehicle to retrieve my wallet from my diaper bag).
"You are supposed to keep that in the rig with you."
Sweet. My car constitutes a rig. Nice. "Yes sir."
Approximately 30 seconds (no kidding) he brought it back and pointed across the street.
"There's a bathroom there. Dirty though. And slow down, I hate responding to accidents."
"Yes sir."
Eyes, pointed to heaven, I turn on my blinker, merge and mutter "Thank you." We went and used the most disgusting bathroom this side of the Mississppi.
P.S. In my defense, the fannel wearers of Oregon have mandated the speed on ALL freeways to be 55. For the record, my Grandma drives faster than that. And all this because it helps cut back on pollution. Geez...
7 comments:
Congrats on no ticket! See-- you are being so blessed! Maybe Bella would have been better off going potty right behind that tree there! Cute pictures.
Haha!! Kris! Your blog is so enteraining. Now I know I just need to have kids to dodge a ticket;-) I kid I kid!! Kid are great! And yous are adorable.
Kristin...have I told you lately how much I LOVE reading your blog! You make me laugh so hard! Oh, I HATE being pulled over (knock on wood). It raises my blood pressure at least 10 points, I'm sure. Actually, to be honest, I think the disgusting bathroom would have raised my blood pressure more, though! Glad no ticket. "Rig" ....too funny.
Way to go! Really, 55 on the freeways? That would drive us crazy.
You should watch your speed in that RIG. I can't believe he used that word. I would have laughed in his face and he would have doubled the ticket. I am just not that lucky. And 55? I believe cars were made to go 80 on the freeway and they are not happy otherwise.
Also, I love that Harry sings Mary Poppins! How cute.
Kristin! You better remember me, I'm sure I left that HUGE of an impression on you. I saw your name on the Jackson Family blog. I don't know them but I have been following their blog for a few weeks. Hope all is well! Nice finding you on the net and hope to stay intouch!
Kristin! You are hilarious. Your blog always puts a smile on my face. Glad you got a sympathetic cop.
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