The Nutcrackinest...

Last night I took my baby girl to the Nutcracker for the first time. And so it goes...

First and foremost, my stance is that cuss words are not in fact cuss words, if they are in the Bible. Which all of the fun ones are. With that said....

There may or may not have been cussing (silent/whispered or hollered) as we drove 10 miles in 45 minutes. I can also not confirm that there were any said running down 4 flights of Portland parking stairs (why do they stink people?) And I am not going to even pretend that I didn't cuss when I sandwiched the evening with losing my wallet. TWICE! I know, I know mom, I need to grow up and carry a purse. But then I need a sewing kit, first aid supplies, hair brush and every flavor of Trident. It's just too much sometimes, ya know!

Yes people, she truly is that fabulous!

It was Kylene's idea to go all out Prom style to the show. In Kiera's words, "I feel like Gale to your Oprah." That is how truly hip she looked! People stopped to stare, comment, and I am pretty sure someone asked to take a picture with her. Uh-huh.

In the words of Dolly Parton, "Too Cha-cha for words!"

It was a moment I will never forget. I adore my girl. And for record, I will totally admit the fact that the Snowflake dance was my favorite and I did in fact cry.

It was my birthday present. And how many people get moments, honest-to-goodness, take-your-breath-away, never forget it in a million years moments as gifts? I count myself truly blessed. That moment of watching Bella watch art and fall in love was perfect.

And the joke of the evening.....If the girl dancers are Ballerina's...what are the boy dancers? My stylish diva of a doll of a friend aptly named them...Balle-rhinos! And that's all we will say about that.

The three angels at Starbucks after a Hot Chocolate. .....AND THEN I lost my wallet. Which for the record turned up at 11:45, after a missionary discussion and a 30 minute conversation with a member of the church (vegan chef/DJ extraordinaire mind you) calling me from out of state to say that her friend in Beaverton had found it and was calling her to inquire what the heck a temple reccomend was. She is a woman that I have never met but that I was meant too know. Can we say serendipitous (three times fast)!

Peter Pan....

Peter Pan has a myriad of meaning in my heart. It was my favorite movie going up (along with Mary Poppins, the Gnomemobile, and Seven Brides, but anyway.) Neverland is one of my favorite movies now. My friend who lost her child has turned for inspiration to the little imp of a child, Peter. So yesterday, when Bella could not calm down I did the only thing I know of that makes her calm, read to her from Peter Pan (by J.M. Barrie) while Harry played on the ground. There are so many tidbits in this book, can I just indulge myself and write some of my favorites so far:

"Mrs. Darling first heard of Peter when she was tidying up her children's minds. It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for the next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day."

"Indeed a million golden arrows were pointing out the island to the children, all directed by their friend the sun, who wanted them to be sure of their way before leaving them for the night."

"Years rolled on again, and Wendy had a daughter. This ought not to be written in ink but in a golden splash."

It sufficeth to say that the adventures of the book satisfy my kids curiosity and imagination. I however try not to cry at every page for the innocent insights into the center of motherhood and childhood. Double meanings everywhere and so beautifully written.

It is this feeling of reading to the kids by the tree to quiet their spirits (when they actually listen), the provides my profoundest sense of joy. I have a friend who described my children and all children "as the little lights on the planet." Isn't that the truth?

Temple Square...

I am the opposite of a Scrooge. What would that be? I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!

Here's what we're doing:

Grandma and the kids

The Cousins

Cousin Ian and Bella

Sure...

The first time my husband said the word "Sure" it was in response to some mundane question like "Would you mind doing the kitchen?" or "Can I borrow a kidney?" And my initial, and now patented response is "What does 'sure' mean?"

Does sure mean "eh, I like my kidneys but hey you're my eternal companion so whatev!" Does sure mean I will do the dishes.....eventually and in my own way? Does sure mean in one minute, which is another ambigous frustration. Would that be one football minute, one basketball minute or one Gardner minute. The possiblities with such a vague vocabluary are endless! AND IRRITATING! I echo the sentiments of the MOODY BLUES... "SAY WHAT YOU MEAN."

Apparnently, this generic response is hereditary. Today I asked Harrison if he wanted to play the memory game. His response......"Sure." (enthusiastic, by nonetheless..."sure"). I paused. Then laughed....for heaven's sakes!

Licks and love....

Harry: "Mommy" holding my cheeks firmly so that I am one millimeter away from his face and the full effect of what he is about to say comes through. "Mommy, I love you." And then he precedes to LICK my whole face over my nose and everything.

Do we see a pattern forming here? YIKES!

Duh.....

So I just read the most fascinating article and brings glaringly into focus how ridiculous a society we have become. Disney is offering a refund to all the people who have purchased "The baby Einstein" DVD's. They are doing this due to a CLASS-ACTION lawsuit brought on by some parenting company that states that "false advertising"enticed the parents purchase. That the DVD's have been "unmasked" and "striped down" to what they really are......a way to occupy your child while you make dinner. And that they do not, in fact, make your child a genius. To which I holler a big 'ole DUH!!!!

Seriously, did parents honestly think that they could put their kid in front of the Little Einstein DVD and that they would become a spontaneous genius? And did those same parents feel so betrayed when the 2 year old doesn't know the difference between Bach and Beethoven as to warrant a huge refund for DVD's that have in fact kept their children's attention?! What the?

I have these DVD's and I like them. And that is all I feel to rant about this day.

More positive....

Alright, so here's the deal. My soul needs to make a quarter turn. Not an about face, just a little tweek if you will. I realized in a moment of solitude that even in my "All-thanks prayers" I was thanking Him for my half empty glass. I.E. Thank you for helping me not COMPLETELY lose it, THANK YOU for the beauty of the earth, especially the mountains in Park City (I AM SO MOUNTAIN-HUNGRY), THANK YOU for my ward family in Park City, where I am no longer, which really sucks cause I need my friends and I need to hike etc. etc. You get the point. So even though I was thanking Heavenly Father for everything under the sun it was like I was still thinking about what wasn't there. So I have decided that this is not only unproductive hypocrisy but it is also really detrimental to my spirit.

When I realized this tears came down my cheeks as I humbly asked for guidance on how to return to my normal "GLASS IS ENTIRELY FULL" self. And as always, the Lord, in his infinite wisdom, love and mercy is showing me how. And even in that "AHA" moment, full of His grace, my mind wasn't entirely ready and it began to tug me back to the now and yesterday with "but Kent needs a real job", "I need to have Bella home with me" etc. As soon as the thoughts came I dismissed them showing them the door. They still try to climb in a window but whatever. And at that moment, a perfect vision of hope and light filled my heart and radiated out to my very fingertips. It was an incredible moment and feeling. It was the picture of Kent holding Harry with Bella at his side smiling at me in front of the Portland Temple. And I realized my world is complete. This picture filled me up and I need only to call on it to widen my ability to withstand the now. I also felt that God knows my needs and our wants and He will provide.

Since then when someone asks how I am. I tell the truth, as I did before. "I AM GREAT!" Before it was "I am great...we're doing fine..... blah, blah, blah, something needs to happen, sick of this battle, blah, blah.... "you get the picture.
When I decided to make that turn, and it feels to be a mental, physical, AND emotional turn, everything looks brighter to me. And yes, it has only been three days since I made this decision, but still.

Portland Hills = endurance

Portland Plains= patience

Portland Cliffs= I think I can't take anymore. And I look around and open my eyes. "He that hath eyes let him see." I now have eyes. I am so grateful for the gospel, which makes my life valuable, gives it meaning.

Say What....

Harry: "Mom, we watch Geral Congress?"

Mom: (honestly sorting out the words, and determining if my son will have a brillant political career....what is Geral Congress?) "Oh....you mean General Conference."

Harry: "Ya, that one."

CONVERSATION #1:

Bella: "Mom I want you to meet Jennifer."

Me: "Oh. (honestly looking around). Uh where is Jennifer?"

Bella: "In the glass jar. She is my pet fly."

Me:"Pet fly?"

Bella: "Ya I caught her on the window missing me so I put her in the jar. Can I have a raspberry?"

Me: "For Jennifer?"

Bella: "Ya. She's hungry."

And this tale has a very Bronte-esque ending. Jennifer lives for 5 days in the jar before drowing in the rotten raspberry juice. What a romantic way to go though, ya know, for a fly.

CONVERSATION #2:

Bella: "This is Callie the horse (wooden horse). I got her from a garage sale. That's where all horses come from."

SUMMARY:

I really just don't know what else to say here. I think I may have missed the mark .....not sure what mark but some HUGE, glaring mark somewhere.

This is the animal (crossed out) spider that greeted me as I went running this morning. I think he is smiling and savagely tapping his legs going "hehehehe. I will get you my sweets." And with this spider that Kent caught with the kids comes a new love of the chase and capture of all living things. Where did all my glass jars go? Thanks sweetie!

Quirky....

I wouldn't call myself (air quotes please) "lazy" per se. I am just quirky. For instance, I know that the clock on the thermostat is exactly 1 hour and 8 minutes behind actual time (not to be confused with G.S.T.). It would probably take 30 seconds and 1 brain cell to change the time on the thermostat. As opposed to the mathmatical calculation and 42 brain cells it takes to figure out the exact time using thermostat time. But do I fix it? No. Likewise, I am a believer in the "dirty basket"/"clean basket" approach to laundry. Although I have made an effort to not impose this on anyone's laundry but my own, because I figure that's not a battle I want to fight when the kidlets reach puberty. I recognize that it would take 5 minutes to fold my laundry and put it in it's correct place. I also recognize that it takes me a cumulative 25 minutes searching the basket on a daily basis for 2 weeks for just the right "G" combo.

If my quirks don't kill ya, they just make you stronger. At least that's what I remind my husband.

So here are some of my kids cute quirks:

1. Bob the builder= is pronounced "Bob da biddah" (hourly, we are huge fans.)

2. Bella refuses to wear any sort of jean something or other. If it ain't comfy, it ain't going on. Also, if I suggest something to wear, it gives the outfit the perverbial kiss of death.

3. Harrison is an accessory to everything Bella wants to do/be/play/think. i.e. If Bella is Nala for Halloween, Harrison is Simba. If Bella is walking the dog around the house, Harry is the dog. If Bella decides to renact the food fight in Monsters Inc. Harry is the food thrown or the one food is thrown on, this one can go either way really.

4.Garbage truck day is bigger then disneyland. Although when Harry grows up he wants to drive the dump truck or Cement Mixer. Boats are feared, go figure!

5.Harry is extremely interested in Math/numbers, couldn't give a rat's hind quarters for the alphabet. Hmmmm, I wonder if I should be teaching him Roman Numerials then?

VI. Bella has decided that it is time she read by herself. She is incredible, sounding out anything she wants.

I am busy steam cleaning anything that will hold still. I borrowed my friends machine because I couldn't ignore the filth in the carpet anymore. This is the reason, my children are running and screaming so loudly, they are afraid that if they hold still too long, they will be next to be cleaned. (and I'll just paranthesize something here, because it feels like I paranthesize TOO MUCH.)

Busy Signal...

There is something about a busy signal that strokes my violent and irrational side. Why couldn't Mr. Bell, when inventing the phone with all of it's elementary intricacies, conjure a less annoying sound to indicate the needed party was otherwise engaged? Like a bird chirping or a melodious hum. This is a very long way of saying that I am irritated because I have been trying to get on the phone with the Rec Center people to sign up for some extracurriculars. I don't want ALL of the extracurriculars, just some. I am not a Rec-hog. So why have I (and Kent) tried calling every 3 seconds for 45 minutes to no avail? You do the math. Repeatedly annoying sounds X us (divided respectively) by "Ballet-less" thoughts of our 5 years old= AHHHHHHH!

Bella however has accomplished a tremendous feat this week.


A: Succeed in wearing whatever-the-freak she wants on the first day of school and all subseqent days. Check. I did convince her that brown and brown don't necessarily go together. I simply had to appeal to her "Fancy Nancy inner self" and that one settled itself.



B: Charm the entire Kindergarten class. Check.



C: Confirm that she is indeed better then anyone else on the monkey bars. Check.


D: Stay seated on the bus, rather then "bumpity-bump to the ground like the first fun day."



My To-Do list looked something like this:


A: Remember to put a bra on before going to the bus stop. Check.


B. Get home before someone sees the tears, throwing myself across the bed to wail ridiculously about what feels to be my child's venture into the great adversarial unknown. How did she grow up so quick? Check.


C. And true to form had to have Kent come home to go get the pictures that I was too mentally preoccupied to take before she hopped on the bus. I DIDN'T TAKE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL PICTURES! What kind of mother am I?! So, inevitablly doubt all things I have done and am doing in the motherhood arena. Checkity-check!


All is well in the end of the week. I hold her in my arms a little longer at night now. I stop to stare at her eyes when she is talking (which is alot). I dance a little more with her, and clean a little less. She helps more and is more kind to her brother. So I have given life "the bird" or maybe just a busy signal so I can hold her longer and more. My house looks like it too. Hmmmmm, maybe there is something positive to a busy signal after all.









This is it honey. Your first day of school picture that will follow you until your old and wrinkled. You first and ONLY....I am so so sorry.

"Heart"ing things...

I am not fluent in blog. I speak English, jibberish and a little Austen (felicities, happenstances and other random victorian what-have-you's). I don't know what I "heart" things means. The only mental picture this draws for me is a 80's mullet, wrangler boy drawing an "air-heart" with his fingers and winking. This does nothing for me.

What I do understand is that this morning the sky was on fire with the sun's idea of welcoming another beautiful day. While the sky literally screamed with pinkest pink and the orangest clouds, a perfect rainbow arched over the entire city, from one pot of gold to another with a second rainbow debating an appearance. It took my breath away. It felt like my Heavenly Father was embracing me with the sky, saying "I hear you. I need you. I love you." I don't know why He loves me, but He wrote it in the sky this morning and for that I am grateful. I felt the message while I ran, loud and clear.

So while I quote "heart" unquote alot of things: reading, writing, listening, running, playing, traveling, crafting (kinda), I live for moments like this.....

.... and this....

....and this ....

....and this.

Indian Beach....

I wonder if I have always loved field trips, the break in the monotony, the spontaneity of it all. We went to the beach with some friends last week, and here are the pictures that the incomparable I-Shuan took. We went to a different beach than our "normal beach" and branching out is healthy.

This is Bella and Harry's little friend. Love this kid.

This is the greatest part of the beach, they all zonk after. Completely gone-zo. So cute. Thanks for the great fun guys. Love you!

Organic gardening.....

What would a hypothetical person be doing with 2 pounds of cayenne pepper, a pump sprayer,a six foot ladder and goggles? Why invoking organic gardening 101 of course! Apparently, worms no-likey cayenne pepper (does anything?) and this could be the end of my wormy apple problem. However, now what to do with the 1st degree burns all over my body from said Cayenne pepper problem. Hmmmmm, tap, tap, tap, I wonder...........

Oh and for future reference, cayenne pepper clogs the sprayer and so untwisting the pressured Cayenne pepper H2O concoction 20 times to figure out WHY it isn't coming out is among the dumber things you could do in this hypothetical sitch. On the upside, all my zits are gone. And the numb tingles all over have also subsided, ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Also, we just got back from Utah. My brother had a baby, Avery and Kent's sister had a baby, Edith. Anyway, while we were there my amazing cousin Ashley took our family's pictures. Click here to see some of them. http://ashleymaephoto.com/blog/ Thanks Ash, Love you.

Introducing Milkmaiden Soap...

It's not that I spazz out with excess creative energy, really, it's just that I have a very healthy appreciation for natural things. I have always been fascinated by soap making in all of it's beauty and I have also been disconcerted by the lowest of the low quality of commercial soap. Combine this with my research on goat milk with all of it's health benefits and WA LAA...you have my newest endeaver....Milkmaiden Soap (the milkmaiden in the scenerio would be me). It's made entirely of coconut oil, olive oil, and goat milk (that's it)! It took me a long time, a lot of research and a whole bunch of failed attempts before I made the perfect recipe for the most amazing of soaps. Don't panic....it's organic. Anyway, thought I would show you a picture of the finished product. Thank you I-Shuan for your mad graphic designing skills. Can I be you when I grow up?

You can visit the blog at.....

milkmaidensoap.blogspot.com

So for friends and family, they cost $4/bar or 3/$10 dollars. Basically, if you find out about the soap through this blog....that means you. At the farm, in the stores around town, they are $5/bar. They weigh between 7-8 oz. each. which is double the size of commerical soap bar...so it really is a deal.

Anyway, just thought I would share. Not that I like to toot my own horn, mostly because there is a disagreeable quacking sound when I do, but I am pretty thrilled to be proud of a highest caliber product made from my own hands.

A jamstress...

Once upon a time there was a lovely, slightly plump jamstress who wanted to make the world's greatest raspberry jam, a family favorite.

This jamstress was also semi-adventerous and went wake boarding on her magical Kingdom's birthday, even July the 4th, with her prince. Whilst her children were outsourced to darling babysitter they adore.

And she rocks!

Anyway, back to the tale at hand. She wanted to make the world's greatest jam. But the kingdom said "In order to have a successful jam, one must add an obscene amount of sugar in order for it to work." The jamstress, in an effort to actually taste the fruit in the jam rather then the sugar, sought out the wisdom of "Oh-wise berry lady" on top of ole' yonder hill in the berry patch. "Oh wise berry lady" directed the Jamstress to a wonderful thing called Pomegrante Pectin which reacts with the Calcium in the fruit rather then the sugar and said, "Cook it, little Padawan." So the Jamstress, cooked her jam (this is the secret) and added only a cup of sugar and 1/4 cup lemon juice.

And the Jam gods, smiled down with favor upon the young, adventurous jamstress with a jamming success. And all the children of the land, young and old, lived happily ever after (for the rest of the day.)

With smiling faces too!

THE END

Bella's Birthday....

Patience and fortitude, patience and fortitude...." is what my mom has always said. It is what you will need while your peruse this lengthy post documenting my mom, sisters and nephews visit to us in the great state of Oregon. It is what they all needed as they drove across two states to get here with two children.


Bella with her cake from Whole Foods, which she has been asking for everytime we are in the store for the last 3 months. I mean honestly. And luckily Grandma was in town, who is sweet enough to say "Whatever the princess wants."

On the morning of her birthday all she wanted to do was go milk the goats with momma and visit the farm. So we all went to do the chores because I was in charge for the weekend while the farmers were away. And of course enjoyed our favorite donuts while there.

Not the most flattering shot of the goat but captures the moment don't you think.

Better.

Feeding the pony.

Bella turned up the quirky notch in all photos with Grandma, as you will be able to tell.

Sweet Conner helping with the chores.

I don't even know what to say about that face.

Ian is the most amicable little boy ever. So chill and in his own world. Our favorite recent quote from him, though there are new ones everyday is: "(reading from the primary song book) Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Bella, until the Autobots came and told her to CALM DOWN." Love it!

Boom, boom ain't it great to be crazy!

Again. Strike a pose.

Grandma and all the grandkids.

Choo, choo. At the OMSI. Who knew science was fun? Not me.

And seriously, could you have guest come to Oregon and NOT partake of the sweet berries....NO! So we went berry picking. So fun.

I can neither confirm nor deny, that my kid went off into the wheat to go pee. (huge shoulder shrug here.)

With a car full of whiney kids, and still an entire city of Seaside to see without strollers, we decided to take the bicycle tour. Six seater, no less.
And let's just say it, how gorgeous is my mom?! Love you.

Playing the ocean at Cannon Beach.

My wanderer. He just meanders everywhere.

This picture is just pure poetry, considering that Bella's most recent career choice is "Softball, tennis, basketball teamer princess." What is that?

I am madly in love with my children. They are truly the hightlight of our lives. Bella is the most unique, wonderful, kind, charismatic (how can she be so like that so young is beyond me) smart, fun, sweet love of my life. I adore that she wants "just girl time with mom." I love that she loves people, all of them so fervently from the depths of her heart. I love that she has her paper doll and cabbage in order laying by her bed when she goes to sleep. I love that she asks for a fourth book at bedtime. I love that she gets excited to see us. I love that she is brave. I have so much to learn from her and look forward to learning it through our lifetime. Happy Birthday, my little girl. We love you.

Thank you mom and Annie Annie for making the trip to support and love us and adore the little girl we all want to squeeze. Love you mommy.