Light at the end of the tunnel....

Attention all people...

Due to rising fuel costs, war budgets, receding polar ice caps, high unemployment, no health insurance, budget cuts and high energy use, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Thank you for your understanding and patience in this matter.

Conversations...

Kent reading to Bella: & Harry:

Kent:"....and that is climate."

Harry: "Dammit?"

Kent: "No, Climate."

Harry: "Dammit."

Kent: "KRISTIN...."

Remarkably observant, considering I only mumbled here and there once or kinda maybe a teeny tiny bit more, a pitifully soft or unaudible word, a time or two, forever ago..... blah, blah, blah.

Watched the greatest movie, every couple needs to watch it....it is called Fireproof.  Loved it.  Thanks for the recommendation. 

Let's talk numbers, shall we....

Caught them having a tea party together....so cute. I live for moments like this.

"Perfect love casteth out all fear...."

Moroni 8:16

This scripture changed my life a few years ago.

The costant bombardment I am recieving from everywhere of fear and loss is so completely depressing. Especially for someone in our situation, that we are waiting for the "Ok" on the dream job. Is there no hope? The conversation at church is "is your job OK?" or "Have you enough food storage?" and I haven't recieved "Quick grab your children and run!" but the feeling is there. So I did a little digging to get some numbers for the current economic situation, in regards to unemployment.

Our country's unemployment sits at about 7.6%.

In 1992, our country's unemployment sat at 7.8%

In 1982, the unemployment was at 10.2% (respectively)

In the great depression, it sat at 25-30%, for years.

Objectively speaking, it sucks, but it's not the end. It has been worse and it will get better. I get really irritated when the government makes it sounds like it IS the great depression. Fear begets more fear. My biggest problem with this whole recession, is that I believe it was all brought on by GREED (me and Suze Orman). So we have to cinch up the belts, big deal. So we can't put our kids in private school, so we have to make homemade birthday presens and cards, so we have to find joy in each others company instead of entertainment (movies, etc.) so we buy 5 bananas instead of 10, please .....we are so blessed....we still get bananas.

Anyway, numbers and objective non-partisan perspective, I thought you would appreciate a little, I know I needed it! I am trying to replace my fear with faith, because I don't think I can have both at the same time. I am determined to chin-up and step forward.

Poppins and Police....

So when I am trying to get out the door, with my shirt on facing the right direction and Bella's boots on her feet and not her head, I often clap to get my self out of my bad mood. I clap 3 times and say "Spit, spot and off (clap) we(clap) go (clap)." And then Harry chimes in to finish my sentence "....just a boonful sugar, go down." OK my baby is finishing my quirky Mary Poppins lines... ummmm. In addition, the first thing he says when he wakes up from his nap and in the morning is "Nike shoes on. Nike shoes on." He is so his father's son.

Also....

When getting pulled over, my theory is to stick to the truth. So when I found myself with flashing lights in the rearview mirror and a baldie swaggering up to the car, the first thing I flat out told him was "Ya, that was me speeding."

"You're going 69 in a 55."

"I know."

"You okay?"

"I just gotta get my 4 year old to the nearest bathroom ASAP" (I thought he would appreciate the accronym, I would have used STAT but that was pushing it).

A knowing "Ahhh...." escaped his irritated grin.

By the way, this is the absolute truth. She had been screaming at me since mile marker 18 for a bathroom, we were now at marker ten and I knew deliverance was nigh. Using the "Over the rainbow" theory, a bathroom had to be in close proximity, just around the bend in the road somewhere.

"License please" , with his hand out

"Yes, sir. You see it's just right here....(easing my way out of the car to the back of the vehicle to retrieve my wallet from my diaper bag).

"You are supposed to keep that in the rig with you."

Sweet. My car constitutes a rig. Nice. "Yes sir."

Approximately 30 seconds (no kidding) he brought it back and pointed across the street.

"There's a bathroom there. Dirty though. And slow down, I hate responding to accidents."

"Yes sir."

Eyes, pointed to heaven, I turn on my blinker, merge and mutter "Thank you." We went and used the most disgusting bathroom this side of the Mississppi.

P.S. In my defense, the fannel wearers of Oregon have mandated the speed on ALL freeways to be 55. For the record, my Grandma drives faster than that. And all this because it helps cut back on pollution. Geez...

Shabby Chic or just plain Shabby...

I would tastefully refer to my decor style as "Shabby" we won't ever bother to add on "Chic" to the phrase. My home happily boasts craigslist finds, thriftstore wonders and a couple of "hummm what is that" 's. But I love it. It is starting to feel like home. My theory is that I can either have nice furniture or I can have children. I chose children. I don't understand the inner workings of the toddler psyche, but somehow, I get one room clean and the next room is torn apart, literally. Their favorite subject of disater is the living room, of course. When I can I will post a picture of the daily occurence in my formal living room referred to as "Crush and Tickle", currently I have to tab through my computer to do anything, because my mouse pad is pissed. It is so cute it borders on excessively annoying. The kids, for reasons unknown to their mother, tear apart my couch (Ethan Allen $100 craigslist, oh ya baby!)literally, not one cushion is left untouched and then the kids, with music blaring, jump kamakaze style from the couch to the cushions and back. So far in the tradtion, there has been no blood.
Anyway, so "Shabby" decor suits us perfectly.

Testimony of Motherhood....

I have been given the greatest tender mercy this past month, and I feel like I want to share it. Have you ever had those teeny glimpses of bliss? Those perfect moments set in insanity? One thing the Lord has blessed me with the past month is perspective. For whatever reason, He has urged me toward the bigger picture and in so doing shown me that this season in my life is one that I will wish for over and over. Getting Kent's dream career going, has been long and arduous, to say the least. But in the end, I will not remember the ache, fear, money, faith, or lack thereof. The Lord has whispered to my heart and warmly nudged me when I see Bella and Harry playing, that THIS is what I will remember AND long for. I will look back on this period of my life as one of the greatest, most fulfilling, least complicated and happiest of my life, and I will want to live it again and again.

Please understand, this is not the way I usually look at things. This perspective is a tender mercy, and it is what I need so desperately. How does He always know? I am so grateful to be a mother, and to have the opportunity to raise my children in the gospel, in a free land. I am grateful for eternity, I am grateful for the spirit, without which, I would be a hopeless mess, I am sure. The further I get into life, the more I realize, I can't do it without the gift of the Holy Ghost, especially being a mom. Someone once told me, "You have two knees and a direct link to Heavenly Father, what more do you need to be that childs mother?" I am grateful for my children. This lesson in perspective has been enormously impactful, permanent, and thorough. I am so grateful for my Savior, the greatest teacher, who forgives me though I deserve it the least and directs me because I need it the most.

Anyway, motherhood.......the days are long, the years are short.

One more quick thought, I had this week. I was taking Bella's breakfast order " I would like Oatmeal, eggs, juice, toast and cereal." And I looked at her with my usual reply, start with oatmeal and then you can have more." I paused and realized, I heard my Heavenly Father speaking the same words about spiritual feasts "Use what I have given you and then I will give you more." So during breakfast, I did use what He gave us, we read the scriptures. And the power that came through from a verse I had read a thousand times before knocked me silent and answered a prayer I have been praying for sometime, in regards to Kent's career. The scripture is Mormon 9:15 ".....and God has not ceased to be a God of miracles." I have so much to learn....

Anyway, that's my testimony. Thanks for letting me share it. It is much better then getting up and shaking like a leaf at the podium.