ME: (insert bright lightbulb here)"I DON'T like Halloween."
CLERK:"Huh?"
ME:"I said I don't like Halloween. It causes me great anxiety trying to dress myself up differently from my daily rig-a-ma-ru. It stresses me out! (I think there was a hand throwing up here) It brings insane amounts of candy that I am against and still eat. It causes depression when I realize that all my best costume options are already in my closet and I choose from there which is sad on so many more levels than I care to count. It's a dark holiday representing darkness and all dark things. And just try to find a woman's costume that does not in some way double as lingerie...I dare you."
CLERK:"Well....bah humbug."
ME:"Precisely."
CLERK:"Have a nice day."
ME: "I'll try."
This is a representation of a faithful narrative of an actual occurence. Any discrepencies are entirely Oprah's fault.
The poor clerk. I think by the end of my rant she was smiling. I hope she still works there, unafraid, unhindered by phobias of a stay-at-home mom's ramblings.
Hence, Harry was Batman/Lightning Mcqueen/ Buzz Lightyear/Dinosaur...depending on the mood and the PJ's wearing. He refused to put on the cutest Lightyear costume that I borrowed for the ward trunk or treat because it felt weird.
Bella was Snow White for lack of a better idea. Whatev!
I went as me and with the exception of the above photograph, neglected to capture any Halloweeny event. I know that there is some deep physchological stuff there that we can delve into...but let's not.
3 comments:
Yes, isn't it sad that we look into our own closets when it is time to find a costume? Steve delved into mine for UGLY SWEATER day at work. Ouch.
At our ward Truck-or-Treat I threw on a witch hat with a black shirt and another mom dressed up as a witch commented, "Isn't it funny that all the Moms decided to dress up at witches? What are we saying about ourselves!?" Sad, but true at times.
I miss you (and your rants). Call me next time and leave the poor girl at Ross alone! :)
Oh I NEVER dress up - isn't it OK to say that Halloween is "just for kids" and then devour all the candy that sweet people give to them? I knew you'd understand! :) No harm no foul sista - you're all good and perfectly normal! Miss you!
I am completely with you. I never dress up. I remember being young and dreading Halloween because I knew my costume would be embarrassing compared to others. I knew my mom would make it and that it would be creative and cute but you could tell it was home-made compared to those expensive store-bought ones.
I say you go back to Ross and be soooo nice and somehow slip into the conversation that you have a twin sister.
Post a Comment